listening to paul newman:: grady no. 1
ahhh...yes... my poor little site. well, i took a shower about 5 hours ago and the clean buzz lasts on and on. of course you know that means i was feeling productive. i even cleaned the kitchen! wow! you know, it seems harder and harder to feel motivated to do absolutely anything anymore. my ambitions are atrophied i think. yes, for sure that's it, i think that when i was younger a whole 3 years ago, i was going to take the world by storm! watch out! now it seems like i have more and more dreams and no ambition. hmmmm... i know that all it takes for me is a monk's life and wham! productivity especial... but this monk's life takes some meditation. a couple of days usually. jason knows what this all about i think. i know i make a huge production out of it. well, not really. actually i make absolutely no production out of it. i just sort of disappear and my friends wonder about me and i become an asshole in that i don't return their calls or really bother to czech up on them. so what's a monk's life? partially i got the idea from a weezer song although i don't think i'm taking it a the value of lyric rivers coumo intended (the good life song off of pinkerton). anyway, it's odd cuz like the lyrics say... tomorrow i'm getting my haircut... as usuall i'm going to have it all shaved... just like the lyrics... spooky... ok so these elipses (three periods in succession) "..." are anoying. ummm, oh yeah, so what is the process of monk-ness?
1. so you've lost your ambitions and become a generally lazy person?
2. meditate on the will/brain power needed to accomplish any task. start small, like moving your hand. then start visualizing your environment and how you want it to look (cleaning your room and house/car/office whatever, is usually what this means).
3. note how the will power changes somehow. moving your hand, then changing your surroundings, the last step is 'influence', actually the last step is "you" as a person. usually i find that i come to a realization that the will power needed for me to sustain my ego and live, is the same as the destrudo (i think that's the right jungian term) that would want to end it all (suicide). i'll comment more on #3 later
4. an outline for a monks life. bottom-up or top-down technique? i'm not sure which is the right approach but it involves outlining macro and micro goals. like i want to go back to school for an art/media/music/humanities major = MACRO. i also want to remember to brush my teeth more often = MICRO (i don't know why, but i've been forgetting this last week, eeww!!). basically you would become the list... so you have to factor in EVERYTHING, taking to account room for random things to happen and room enough to re-evaluate the list at any time and change (this is really a big part of the 2 days).
5. catharsis. in a way, you actually kill yourself in your mind, and yet you live on with the experiences and become a sort of pure ego, your thoughts translate into action with no loss of fidelity. so for me going back to college and settling all of my finances, would become as simple as opening and closing my hand. now do you see how over dramatic this all seems?
what my friends don't understand is that i take this very seriously, even though i'm not too much of a serious guy-- or am i. oh yeah, so #3 earlier, makes complete sense to me. cuz sometimes i'll think about the simplicity of death and the complexity in life and then it all balances like zen. everything really does balance, especially with a conservation of energy law that exists in the universe. so i'm in a grey area, and i hate grey areas. i love the color gray though.
*yawn, new subject. today was RAWK! day... yes yes yes, i realize that i have been astray from my relatively rock roots. so today i made an effort to compile a list of artists that for the most part i have heard, heard off, seen at a show, or my friends might have their stuff, or i just stumbled upon and have no clue about. here is the list:
polvo
modest mouse
promise ring
braid
chamberlain
compound red
fugazi
juno
get up kids
beezus
capp'n jazz
gray matter
high back chairs
joan of arc
sleeping for sunrise
the firebird project
burning airlines
capitol city dusters
drive like jehu
shellac
sidekick kato
nation of ulysess
the explosion
pedro the lion
jets to brazil
euphone
turing machine (it might be "the alan turing machine" ... i'm not sure)
zero zero
dalek
strike anywhere
milemarker
sandbox
shiner
the dismemberment plan
the eternals
melissa's marathon
june of '44
les savy fav
the up on in
Q & not U
bats & mice
four hundred years
ben davis
engine down
jason falkner
frodus
atomic fireball
bluebird
sleepytime trio
monorchid
the impossible five
rah bras
cadillac blindside
the cassettes
speedtrain
pontius copilot
assembly of devices
daniel givens
hood
icebreaker
isotope 217
l'altra
pulseprogramming
the sorts
33.3
the orangedrive
tugboat annie
the wicked farleys
forty
pie
new sweet breath
dianogah
paul newman
severin
ok... so i know full well what some of the bands sound like and i really love them... but i've neglected them. there are a lot of new ones for me here though. so your guess is as good as mine. i listened to paul newman (coz there was an mp3 on the site). i know they're on My Pal God records and that they're classified as post punk/emo. what is post punk supposed to mean anyway? they were once punk maybe? i thought them closer to emo/math rock actually. good stuff... i found them on southern records website. anyhow, i'm going to get some rest and tomorrow... meditation begins.
enter the monk.
